The Monster Squad Read online

  FOR JESSICA

  ****

  I will not let you go into

  the unknown alone.

  -Bram Stoker

  • THE SCOUTS •

  VAMPYRA may be a vampire, but that doesn’t mean she wants your blood. Gross! In fact, she doesn’t even like ketchup! She loves gymnastics, especially cartwheels, and one of her favorite things is hanging upside down . . . even when she’s not a bat. She loves garlic in her food and sleeps in past noon, preferring the nighttime over the day. She lives in Castle Dracula with her mom, dad (Dracula), and aunts, who are always after her to brush her fangs and clean her cape.

  WOLFY and his family live high in the mountains above Castle Dracula, where they can get the best view of the moon. He likes to hike and play in the creek and gaze at the stars. He especially likes to fetch sticks with his dad, Wolf Man, and go on family pack runs, even if he has to put up with all of his little brothers and sisters. They’re always howling when he tries to talk! Mom says he has his father’s fur. Boy, is he proud of that!

  FRANKY STEIN has always been bigger than the other monsters. But it’s not just his body that’s big. It’s his brain and his heart as well. He has plenty of hugs and smiles to go around. His dad, Frankenstein, is the scoutmaster, and one of Franky’s favorite things is his well-worn Junior Monster Scout handbook. One day Franky is going to be a scoutmaster, like his dad. But for now . . . he wants a puppy. Dad says he’ll make Franky one soon. Mom says Franky has to keep his workshop clean for a week first.

  CHAPTER

  1

  WOLFY TOOK A DEEP BREATH. He looked to the sky. He leaned way back and let out the biggest, longest, loudest howl he could. It was a very good howl. It was such a good howl that it went right past the forest, over the covered bridge, through the village, and all the way to the Old Windmill.

  “That was a good one!” said Franky Stein.

  “I’ll bet they could hear that howl all the way back at the castle!” said Vampyra.

  “Thanks!” said Wolfy. He was very proud of himself. Tonight was the Junior Monster Scout meeting, and Wolfy wanted to earn his Howling Merit Badge.

  In fact, Wolfy’s howl was such a good howl that it reached right through the open window of the Old Windmill, right into the ears of Baron Von Grump.

  Baron Von Grump was always grumpy. Everything about him was grumpy. Even his eyebrows were grumpy. They were like two big, black, bushy, grumpy caterpillars crawling across his forehead. They were even blacker than Edgar, his pet crow.

  “What was that noise?” he sneered. “That sounded like a howl. A monstrous howl. Oh, how I despise those wretched monsters!”

  Edgar hopped onto the windowsill and peered out over the village. “Caw, caw!” Edgar did not like monsters either.

  Baron Von Grump did not like noise. Baron Von Grump did not like anything, really, except for playing his violin and making plans. Baron Von Grump loved making plans. He loved that almost as much as he loved playing his violin.

  So you see, Baron Von Grump loved two things. And everything else, he did not. Okay, he loved Edgar, too. Three things. Baron Von Grump loved three things.

  Baron Von Grump looked out his window and glared at the village. Edgar glared with him.

  Today was the village cheese festival, and all of the villagers were busy setting up.

  “Look at them!” he said. “Smiling, talking, singing, why . . . they’re even chewing gum! I cannot stand when people chew gum . . . or sing, or talk, or smile. These villagers are almost as bad as those miserable monsters.”

  See? Baron Von Grump did not like anything besides making plans and his violin and Edgar. With all of this noise Baron Von Grump could not concentrate. If he could not concentrate, he could not play his violin. If he could not play his violin, he would become even grumpier than the grump he already was. And that is a lot of grump.

  “I have a plan!” he said with a sly smirk.

  “Caw! Caw!” said Edgar.

  A plan! This made Baron Von Grump happy for one half of a second.

  Make a smile. Just a little one. Barely twitch the corners of your mouth. Now stop. That was how long Baron Von Grump was happy. That was not very long, was it?

  Edgar hopped onto Baron Von Grump’s shoulder.

  Baron Von Grump slammed his shutters closed. He knew just what to do to get rid of all of those smiling, talking, singing, gum-chewing villagers. He knew just how to chase them away.

  CHAPTER

  2

  JUST AS WOLFY WAS GETTING ready to howl again, he heard something. He stopped. He listened. Wolfy was a very good listener. He had ears like a wolf.

  It sounded like someone was crying. It did not sound like a good cry, like when you get a new puppy or some ice cream and you’re so happy that you cry. No, this sounded like a sad cry.

  “Hey,” said Wolfy, “I hear someone.”

  Wolfy followed the sound of crying. Vampyra and Franky went with him. The crying led them down past the graveyard, along the crooked trail, and right to the edge of the Gloomy Woods. A little boy sat by the side of the trail. It was Peter, the piper, from the village. He was crying into his hat.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Wolfy.

  Peter jumped. “Don’t eat me!”

  The junior monsters looked confused.

  Stop reading and look at the nearest person. Now say, “Don’t eat me!” They look confused, don’t they? They are probably giving you a funny look. That is the kind of look the junior monsters gave Peter.

  “Why would we eat you?” asked Vampyra.

  “Because you’re monsters,” said Peter. “Monsters eat people, right?”

  “We’re friendly monsters,” said Franky.

  “Friendly monsters?” Peter asked. “The stories don’t say anything about friendly monsters.”

  “That’s just it,” said Vampyra. She swished her cape. “They’re only stories!”

  “My dad says Baron Von Grump made up all of those stories about us,” said Franky. “And everyone believed him.”

  “Well, you’re certainly not scary, like in the stories,” said Peter. “I’ve never met a real monster before.”

  “We’re not just monsters. We are Junior Monster Scouts!” said Wolfy. “Why are you crying?”

  “I was playing a song on my flute, and when I turned around, my Shadow was gone!” Peter said.

  “Cheer up,” said Franky. “We’ll find your shadow!” He looked behind a bush. He looked under a rock. “Have you checked your pockets? Oh, hey, I found it! Look, there it is!” He pointed to Peter’s shadow stretched out next to him.

  “Not that shadow,” said Peter. “My kitten. Her name is Shadow.” He started to cry again.

  Peter was very sad.

  Wolfy, Vampyra, and Franky did not like seeing anyone sad.

  “Don’t worry,” said Wolfy. “We’ll help you find Shadow.”

  “You will?” said Peter. He wiped his tears away.

  “We sure will,” said Franky.

  “By paw or claw, by tooth or wing, Junior Monster Scouts can do anything!” said Vampyra.

  CHAPTER

  3

  “WE’LL FIND SHADOW BY FOLLOWING her scent,” said Wolfy. He pointed to his nose. “I am very good at sniffing things out.”

  “Shadow likes to sleep in my hat,” said Peter. “Maybe that will help.”

  Wolfy sniffed Peter’s hat. He sniffed the air. He sniffed the ground. He sniffed the air again.

  “Do you have anything that belongs to Shadow?” asked Wolfy.

  “I have her favorite toy,” said Peter. He held out a little stuffed mouse.

  Wolfy sniffed that, too. “Aha!” he said.

  He had Shadow’s scent, and he had the trail. But he did
not like where it led.

  “Shadow went in there,” he said. He pointed to the Gloomy Woods.

  Peter gulped.

  Franky shivered.

  Vampyra squeezed her eyes shut.

  The Gloomy Woods was dark, and spooky, and very, very gloomy. That’s why it was called the Gloomy Woods.

  You might think that monsters would like dark, spooky, and very, very gloomy things. But that is just another story. They only like kind of gloomy things, not very, very gloomy.

  “It won’t be so bad if we go in together,” said Wolfy. He took one step toward the woods. He was nervous.

  “I have an idea,” said Vampyra. “I know a way to make the Gloomy Woods not so gloomy.”

  “How?” asked Franky. “I don’t think anything can make it less gloomy.”

  “Peter,” said Vampyra, “did you say you play the flute?”

  “I do,” said Peter. “I can play lots of songs!”

  “Well, then why don’t you play us a song?” asked Vampyra.

  Peter picked up his flute and played a song. It was a cheery, happy song. It worked! They all felt a little better, a little braver, and a lot less gloomy.

  “Lead the way, Peter!” said Franky.

  Wolfy, Franky, and Vampyra followed Peter into the Gloomy Woods.

  CHAPTER

  4

  BARON VON GRUMP COVERED HIS ears. He growled. He groaned. He grimaced. Why is everyone so loud? And happy? Why, he’d even heard a villager say “Good morning” to another villager just a minute ago.

  Every villager was out and about, young and old, waving their little cheese flags, and wearing hats made of cheese wheels. There was even a parade and a wagon piled high with cheese. White cheese, yellow cheese, pink cheese, cheese with holes. Square cheese, round cheese. Cheese, cheese, cheese, CHEESE!

  “They are driving me crazy with all of their noise!” he said to Edgar. “How am I supposed to practice my violin with them making such a racket? And oh, the stench! The horrible, terrible stink of their cheeses.”

  Baron Von Grump pinched his nose shut with a clothespin. “Bud I hab a plan. I doh justh whut to do!”

  “Caw! Caw!” said Edgar.

  Baron Von Grump went down, down, down the sagging staircase of the Old Windmill, all the way to the basement. Edgar flew down the stairs, leading the way. Baron Von Grump hardly ever went down to the basement. He lived in the top room of the very old, very rickety, very crooked windmill. The basement was dark, and damp, and filled with rats. Big, hairy black rats with long pink tails and bright red eyes.

  Baron Von Grump lit a candle. The rats blinked. There were a lot of rats. There was a lot of blinking.

  “Hey,” said a very big rat, munching on a wedge of cheese, “put that candle out!”

  The rats did not like light very much.

  “How would you like all the cheese you could eat?” asked Baron Von Grump.

  The rats liked cheese a lot. They liked cheese more than they disliked light. The rats listened to what Baron Von Grump had to say. Baron Von Grump said that there was a lot of cheese in the village. He said that each house was filled with cheese. He also said that the rats could have all of it . . . as long as they chased the villagers away. And chewed their cheese quietly.

  “Hmm,” said the big rat. “I’ll put it to a vote.”

  The big rat called all of the other rats together and explained Baron Von Grump’s offer. The rats thought this was a very good idea. Unfortunately, the village was much brighter than the basement of the Old Windmill, but the village was also filled with cheese.

  “We’ll do it!” said the big rat. He swallowed his wedge of cheese. He burped. He did not have very nice manners.

  Baron Von Grump smiled. It was a very small smile, a crooked smile, certainly not a full smile. But it was something.

  Edgar’s beady little black eyes seemed to smile as well.

  “Soon,” said Baron Von Grump, “those villagers will be gone, and I’ll finally have some peace and quiet. I will finally be able to play my violin without all of their cheering and chattering and cheese stink!”

  CHAPTER

  5

  THE GLOOMY WOODS WAS VERY, very dark. It was so dark that Wolfy, Vampyra, Franky, and Peter could barely see their own hands in front of their own faces.

  The Gloomy Woods was also filled with trees. Lots and lots of trees to walk right into. Or roots to trip you up. The Gloomy Woods was a dangerous place.

  “Ouch!” said Peter. A branch knocked his hat off.

  “Oof!” said Franky. He stumbled over a log.

  Wolfy and Vampyra did not stumble or hit anything. Werewolves and vampires can see in the dark. But that did not help Peter and Franky.

  “We need to help them,” said Vampyra.

  “We can be their eyes,” said Wolfy.

  Wolfy held Peter’s hand. Vampyra held Franky’s hand. Now they could walk through the Gloomy Woods.

  Wolfy sniffed the air.

  “Shadow is close!” he said.

  “She might be scared of you at first, like I was,” said Peter.

  “She might hide from us,” said Franky.

  “I think Peter can help with that,” said Vampyra. “His music helped us feel not so gloomy. Maybe he can help Shadow feel not so gloomy.”

  “Good idea,” said Peter. He took out his flute and played another song.

  When he was finished with his song, he put his flute away. The junior monsters waited and listened. A soft meow came from somewhere in front of them. In front of them and above them.

  “Did you hear something?” asked Franky.

  “That’s Shadow!” said Peter.

  “Meow!”

  “Shadow is in one of these trees!” said Wolfy.

  “Which one?” Peter asked. But he could not even see one tree, let alone the tree that Shadow was in. Close your eyes. Close them tight. Now look for a kitten. You can’t see one, right? You can’t see anything. That’s how dark it was.

  “I think I know a way to find out which tree Shadow is in,” said Vampyra.

  CHAPTER

  6

  THE VILLAGE WAS FILLED WITH rats.

  Big rats, short rats, thin rats, long rats. Rats scampered down the streets. They crawled into houses through windows. They slid under doors. They hopped onto roofs and dropped down the chimneys. They twitched their pink tails and grinned with their yellow teeth. The rats ran everywhere . . . and everywhere they ran, the villagers ran too.

  “This is great!” said the rats. “So much cheese!”

  Now, mind you, the rats were not hurting anyone. They certainly did not want to overly upset the villagers. All they wanted was cheese, and Baron Von Grump had been right. There was a lot of cheese in this village! But the villagers did not know what the rats wanted. The villagers did not stop to ask the rats why they had come in through the windows and down the chimneys, and why they were on the village streets.

  The villagers just ran in circles. They climbed atop wagons. They stood on chairs.

  “There are too many of them!” said a villager.

  “We’ll never get rid of them all!” said another.

  “They’re eating our cheese!” cried a third villager.

  “Everyone!” said the mayor, shouting through a very loud bullhorn. “Gather your things. Pack your bags. Collect your children. We must leave the village!”

  Baron Von Grump clapped his hands together. He leaned out of his window and watched.

  “My plan is working!” he said. “Soon those cheese-eating, song-singing, gum-chewing, happy villagers will be gone and I’ll be able to play, play, play my violin without any distraction!”

  He spun in a circle, jumped up, and clicked his heels together. Edgar sat on the edge of a rafter and bobbed his head up and down.

  “Caw! Caw!”

  “Yes, my friend,” said Baron Von Grump, “the sooner the better.” He did not like the villagers’ panicked hollering and shouting, and he certainly did
not like the mayor’s bullhorn.

  Baron Von Grump slammed his shutters closed again. He stomped to his favorite chair, sat down, and opened his violin case. He blew off the dust and the cobwebs and lifted the violin to his chin.

  He placed the bow on the strings.

  He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and drew the bow across the strings.

  It made a terrible screech.

  “Caw! Caw!” shrieked Edgar. He flew straight to the window . . . and into the closed shutters.

  “Well, of course it’s not tuned!” growled Baron Von Grump, waving his bow. “How am I supposed to tune it when I can’t even hear myself think?!”

  Edgar shrugged his wings. Baron Von Grump shoved his violin back into the case and slapped the lid closed.

  CHAPTER

  7

  SINCE VAMPYRA WAS A VAMPIRE, she had a few special powers. One of her powers was being able to turn into a bat. If Vampyra turned into a bat, she could see better in the dark and she could fly up to the tops of the trees to see which one Shadow was in.

  Wolfy, Franky, and Peter thought this was a very good idea.

  “Meow.”

  So did Shadow.

  Vampyra closed her eyes. She wrapped her cape around her body. She counted, “One . . . two . . . three.” And then POOF! Vampyra turned into a bat.

  She fluttered and flapped and flittered around the others. Being a bat was fun! She was close to earning her Junior Monster Scout Flying Merit Badge.

  “Do you see her yet?” asked Peter.

  “Not yet!” said Vampyra.

  Vampyra flew up above their heads. She flew higher and higher, and soon she was at the top branches. It was even darker up there! There were lots of branches and lots of leaves.

  But as a bat, Vampyra could see even better.

  “Meow, meow,” said Shadow.